News

I’m reposting my friend Arjuna’s recent post about Space and Time.  It’s not about physics or astronomy. More about that gap I talk about between when we are triggered and when/how respond.  Enjoy! ========= Make Space for Timely Grace “Make some space for grace” – I only put those words together because they rhymed and … Read moreMake Space for Timely Grace!

Most of us were raised to believe that a real man holds it together — at work, in relationships, in life. We’re told to stay strong, sort things out ourselves, and keep moving. But what happens when “holding it all together” starts holding you back? For many men I meet, there’s a quiet sense that … Read moreWhen You’re Tired of Toughing It Out Alone

Sam came into therapy during a difficult period at work. He had started to feel as if he was stagnating in his role and it was getting him down. As he approached midlife he had reached a level of seniority that he had sought for years, but now he was starting to wonder whether this … Read moreSo you want to try Therapy?

THE ECSTASY OF FOCUSING When I challenge white supremacy, someone protests, “You’re ignoring class oppression! You’re not intersectional enough!” When I write about global warming’s effects on coral reefs, someone replies, “Why don’t you mention deforestation or plastic pollution?” When I speak up about police brutality, someone yells, “Why don’t you talk about domestic violence … Read moreIt’s not possible to say everything every time you say anything

What we want is quick, clever fixes. What we need is quite different: the ability to tolerate intolerable feelings, to sustainably change and grow When people seek therapy – and I know this, because I too was once a person seeking therapy – we often want strategies, techniques and tools for our toolboxes. We want … Read moreTherapy isn’t about life hacks. The best solutions are simpler – and more complex

https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/oct/24/think-about-dying-death-meaning-belief In my book Memento Mori, I created a 12-week program to help people to think about death in their own way. Below are a few of the prompts I offer to help readers excavate what ideas we may hold about death without even knowing it, and where they might come from. This is an … Read moreI’m a death expert. I designed eight questions to help you think about dying…

Radio interview with the author of the book “Better Boys, Better Men” https://www.rnz.co.nz/audio/player?audio_id=2018952257  

“Boys, caught up in a world which talks about toxic masculinity, feel people have decided that they’re harmful before they even get started – a psychologically unhealthy way to grow up, Ruth Whippman says. In her new book, Boymom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity, she talks to experts and looks at the … Read moreWhy modern boyhood is a lonely place / One in four men under 30 has no close friends at all now